Contentment 1

Sea Ranch, April 2008

One of the hazards of sharing life with a family (or any group of people) is the little aggravations the accumulate over time. We get disappointed when our requests, desires or even our commands are not carried out. Promises get broken. People fail in their responsibilities and duties. We serve other people, but don't get the credit we deserve from those who benefit most from our service to them. Day by day our little grievances pile up.

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Then there is the sheer "daily-ness" of life. A friend of mine used to say, "The problem with my life is that it is so DAILY". I used to tell my own husband, "I feel like one side of me is constantly being worn away by what I do all day long." I wished I could change my job or routine so that different sides of me could take the wear and tear for a while. Yet, there was no place I wanted to be more than I wanted to be in my own home, caring for our family. I couldn't even imagine walking away in the midst of this great investment of my life.

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A couple of years after becoming a full-time mom and homemaker I found myself waiting everday for my husband to come home so that I could tell him all about my day. There were cute stories to tell about our son, but there was also an unhappy little list of grievances that I had carefully, if unconsciously, compiled to share with him:

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"I am starved for adult conversation and I feel like the work I do all day is not appreciated."

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"My brain is turning to jelly."

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"My social life revolves around the playground where the other moms don't have a single stimulating or intelligent thing to say."

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"My figure is shot, my wardrobe is frumpy and even if I had something great to wear, we could never afford to go out and have fun."

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*I resented the fact that my husband got to do interesting things and hang out with interesting people all day at work. I remembered all of the things I meant to do before we had kids, but didn't get around to doing. I fretted about how long it would be before I got "my turn" again.

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One evening, as I was waiting for him to come home, I realized that I had turned into a little pot of resentment. I suddenly wondered what it must be like for him to come home every evening to someone who met him at the door with the demand, "MAKE ME HAPPY!" I actually panicked for a moment and wondered how long he might be willing to go on doing that.

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The next morning I prayed about what to do and the Lord brought the simple word "contentment" to my mind. Contentment was as far from my experience at that time as anything could be, but I resolved to find out how to get it. It seemed to me that feeling contented would be far superior to feeling resentful and fretful, and that it might be good for my marriage, too. I even thought it might add peace into my relationships with my children and give me more joy in the "daily-ness" of my life.

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Here is how the dictionary defines contentment:

"A state of having or showing no desire for something more or different; satisfied."

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"Satisfied" was really the state I wanted to enter into. I wanted to be satisfied with my life. That realization provoked a longing in my heart for change and I decided to go in search of the land of Contentment and Satisfaction. In the next few blog entries I will share my journey to that place, but in the meantime, I can tell you that Contentment has certainly lived up to its promise. It has brought me joy and satisfaction and benefitted all of my relationships. I recommend it to anyone who has to put up with the "daily-ness" of life.