Respite

May 22 my husband had surgery and we dug in at home for a few weeks of recovery time. Over the years I have often said, "I won't get sick because I just CAN'T." Homemakers and mothers often claim they "can't" get sick. Most of the time we fend off illness with some kind of miraculous inner defense system and go on doing whatever our home and family needs from us.

This time, a couple of weeks after surgery, just as my husband got a good report from his doctor on his recovery, I suddenly came down with the worst cold I have had in years. We spent the next two weeks sleeping as much as we could, eating light, healthy meals and gradually getting back on our feet. I am so grateful that it was just the two of us here, with no one else depending upon us for care and feeding during that time.

When I had a busy household with four little ones and a hard-working husband to care for, there were days when I felt I just couldn't go on. My sleep was interrupted night after night and the days were unpredictable. It took a lot of energy just to get up every morning. Sometimes I just wanted to check out and have a little "me time", but that was nearly impossible. The steady "snowfall" of housework, childcare and meal preparation kept me running.

That is when I discoverd I had to find moments of time and places to slip away to for prayer and a bit of respite during the day. In one of our homes there was a walk-in closet in our bedroom at the top of the stairs. I had a lamp in there. I would hurry in while the children were occupied, open my Bible to a short passage, get on my knees and pray and come out refreshed before they missed me. It didn't take away my tiredness, but it gave me a renewed mind and heart so that I could go on doing what needed to be done with grace.

Susannah Wesley, who raised 19 children, did something similar. She used to sit in her rocking chair and throw her big apron up over her head. When her children saw her do that, they knew they must not interrupt her because she was taking time to pray. They learned from her example and grew up to be people of prayer themselves.

Jesus cared about people who were burdened, tired and busy. He had some tender words for them and, among others, he may have had homemakers and moms in mind when he said,

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me--watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."

Matt 11: 28-30 The Message

Lord, be with homemakers everywhere today. Call them to rest and find their strength in you. Amen.

Artistry in Homemaking

Tea cozy knitted for my dauther-in-law.

Sometimes housekeeping is like putting pearls on a string with no knot at the end...or shoveling snow while it is still snowing (thank you, Phyllis Diller). The tasks are repetitious and the results are often short-lived. Every homemaker knows what it is like to get the kitchen all cleaned up just in time to meet the next demand for snacks or a meal. The laundry hamper fills up again even as the dirty clothes are being carried out to the washing machine. Sometimes there isn’t time to fold and put away the clean clothes before someone is wearing them again.

I have used several books on housekeeping to learn what to do with these challenges over the years. I learned a 3X5 card system, a binder system and a simple list system. Once I got the hang of what needed to be done around the place, I settled for making simple lists that I use and toss. However, I could not have known all of the things that needed to be on those lists without the detailed information I found in a book like “Is there Life After Housework?” by Don Aslett.

Homemakers have to learn how to keep a house. Either we learn from someone who does it well or we educate ourselves. I had the advantage of a great mom and two grandmothers who taught me about keeping a home using the “learn by doing” method. I didn’t always appreciate those lessons at the time, but now I draw upon that knowledge with gratitude. They taught me the ways of the women in our family who have made homemaking into an art.

My female ancestors provided meals, clean clothes and a sheltering environment for their families, but they also brought beauty and joy into their homes. Some were fantastic bakers, some made quilts and clothes, one was a weaver and others put together tasty and healthful meals using the most ordinary ingredients. They let their creativity shine through so that their homes were fun, welcoming and beautiful.

Housework can be draining and can steal your joy—or you can make it into an art. Maybe you are a storyteller or you love nature. Maybe you love your friends and are a good neighbor, or perhaps you actually are an artist who makes beautiful things. Let the things that bring you joy enter into your homemaking and become your signature as a homemaker. Those who live with you will bless you for it.

State of the Art...State of Mind

I am the third homemaker to occupy the kitchen in my home. I don’t know much about the original owners, but I know the lady who was mistress of this space before I arrived spent 14 years in it, caring for a family of six. I took over in 1988 and fed my own family of six here until the last child left home in 2004.

No one would call this a “state of the art” kitchen. In 2004 I got a gas stove for it, which was a welcome improvement, but the rest of the appliances and the space itself are definitely showing their age. I wish there was more counter space, but here have always been more important things to spend money on than a new kitchen. On the other hand, the walls here resonate with happy memories and the space is so familiar I can move around in it with my eyes closed.

Homemaking is a state of mind that doesn’t really require state of the art anything. My kitchen has produced countless nourishing family meals, been the center of years of holiday celebrations and often been crowded with my daughter and daughters-in-law chatting and laughing as we prepared a meal together. We have served meals to as many as 30 people at tables in three rooms of the house at Thanksgiving. Lots of noise and lots of fun.

My mother-in-law once pointed out that all a good cook really needs is a good knife, a large fork and a big spoon to stir with. Of course, a cook also needs a few pots and pans, a big mixing bowl and a cutting board, but she knew what she was talking about, having made her first home as a bride in post-World War II England when even the most basic of kitchen equipment was hard to come by. She and my father-in-law didn’t go out for meals. She cooked and he joined her at the little table right next to the stove in their tiny kitchen where he gratefully ate what she prepared.

It’s not the gear in the kitchen, but the heart in the homemaker that makes for memorable meals. M.F.K Fisher summed it up this way:

“I, with my brain and my hands have nourished my beloved few.
I have concocted a stew or a story, a rarity or a plain dish
to sustain them truly against the hunger of the world.”

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Wisdom from Yogurt

"Nothing in Creation is so like God as stillness."

~Meister Eckhart~

We recently decided to bring back the healthful benefits of live-culture yogurt to our home. Good yogurt helps repair sick tummies and it revives the natural little flora that make digestion so much easier. It is a dietary superstar after a round of antibiotics or the ravages of a virulent stomach bug, both of which we experienced in the past month.

I found this little yogurt maker at a local store and this morning I pressed it into service. First the milk had to be boiled and cooled to room temperature, a mildly fussy process that took about 45 minutes of intermittent attention as I tidied the kitchen from breakfast. Next, I stirred 6 oz. of live-culture yogurt into the milk, blending it well. I poured the mixture into the little glass jars and put the lid over it. The last step was to turn the maker on and set the timer. It takes about 11 hours in a still and warm environment for yogurt to develop. I glanced and the clock and was relieved to see that it will be done before bedtime tonight.

Meister Eckhart, a thirteenth century Christian mystic, furnished the quote I used with the picture above. I keep these words in a small frame in my kitchen to remind me that I need to cultivate stillness in my life so that God may speak to me. Each day, as I plan ahead and allow time for homemaking tasks, I create spaces in my life for encountering God, too. Part of that time is spent in spiritual practices and part of it is spent in letting my spiritual life grow quietly within me. When I am making yogurt, planting petunias, sweeping the floor or folding laundry, there is a kind of stillness I cultivate within that allows me to hear the voice of the Other who is always with me.

This practice of reflection and quietness does not take the place of Bible reading and study; it does not replace times that I set aside for ordered prayer; but these times of stillness are the moments that God uses to develop new life in me. Bible study and prayer are the times of preparation --the flurry of activity that gets the "culture" of spiritual life started in my heart and mind --the stillness is where it grows and becomes life-giving within me.

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Proverbs 20:27

"The lamp of the Lord searches the spirit of a man;

it searches his inmost being."

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Thinking about re-purposing this blog....

Pansies in the rain, my garden, February 2009

If I really, really wrote from my heart, this blog would be all about what it means to make a home for a family. I am now an empty-nester and I have been told all my adult life that I would lose interest in homemaking by the time the kids left home, but I find that I am more into it than ever.

After almost 35 years of experience in the fine art of making a home, I am delighted to discover that I finally have time to do it right. I can plan meals at leisure and surprise my husband with something nice to eat. After I spend the day cleaning the house I can go on an errand and come back to find it just the way I left it, tidy and welcoming. I have time to create things with my hands and time to organize the clutter of family mementos I have saved up in boxes. My garden is finally shaping up to be the little bit of paradise I always wanted it to be.

Maybe I will blog about home and family for a while.