Before I was Afflicted...

In my September 3 blog I mentioned that I was on a quest to "do what comes unnaturally" in adding simple spiritual disciplines into my life, and that I would let you know how it goes. So, here is an update.

A couple of weeks ago I visited my doctor after going through all the blood tests and exams that accompany bi-annual wellness check-ups. She came into the room and said, "You have awesome health!" She went through each test result with me and she was right, I'm blessed with good health. But then we came to the fasting glucose test and she pointed out that my fasting blood sugar has risen just over the line into "borderline" diabetes. She said it was nothing to worry about, but that I should be aware of it.

Back home from my appointment, I thought I would look further into what someone with "borderline" diabetes should be doing to stay healthy. My dad, my sister and my nephew have diabetes and my aunt died of pancreatic cancer. I am quite aware of the effects of diabetes on people's health.

I learned that some experts say that there is no such thing as "borderline" diabetes. One can't be a little bit diabetic, just as one cannot be a little bit pregnant. Anyone who has a rising insulin/blood sugar imbalance should begin to live as if they are controlling diabetes.

That day I cut sugar right out of my diet. I began seeking the most healthy ways to eat, the best ways to exercise and anything else that will keep my blood sugar under control. It wasn't that hard to start making changes in my behavior since I had already begun the discipline of subtracting bad habits and beginning good ones in my life. The Lord and I had already been talking about these things most of this year.

Last week I read Psalm 119:67-68 and memorized it because it really spoke to my situation.

"Before I was afflicted I went astray,

but now I obey your word.

You are good and what you do is good.

Teach me your decrees."

These verses are so true! Before I was afflicted with concern about diabetes, I was much more ambivalent about how to care for my body properly. It was like a game, making changes and becoming more disciplined in my behavior, but now I see the Lord had something bigger in mind for me. He already knew the real condition of my health and he was laying the groundwork for me to get out of dangerous habits.

I was tempted to play with the lessons in discipline God was giving me before, and I could easily have strayed back to bad, old habits, but the Lord has changed that attitude. Now I am committed to obedience.

The Lord is so good! He has been good to me and what he has done is good. Now I am seated at his feet and ready for the next lessons in this school of spiritual discipline.

Good Humor

From "The Rule of Benedict" by Joan Chittister, here is something that has made me stop and think:

"The tenth step of humility is that we are not given to ready laughter,

for it is written: 'Only fools raise their voices in laughter'."

The halls of Benedictine monasteries do not ring with raucous laughter. But before we conclude that Benedictines must be a pretty dour lot, let's think about what makes people laugh. The current election season was loaded with laughter. There were parodies, satires and witticisms filling the air every time we turned on the TV and, depending upon your point of view, these things made you laugh...or make you angry and uncomfortable. These were laughs gained at the expense of someone's dignity or reputation. Maybe we laughed because we enjoyed seeing other folks squirm when we didn't agree with them, or maybe we just laughed because the joke was witty and clever.

Why would St. Benedict have a problem with this?

Benedict didn't actually want to stop laughter as much as he wanted the members of the community to examine what they laughed at and why. What does it say about us when we laugh at things that are crude or sinful? What is in our hearts when we laugh at people whom we should treat with respect or compassion? What is the character of a nation that allows its votes to be swayed by the exaggerated comedy of late night TV, who gets its news and insights from satirists and jokesters?

How easily we lose control of the direction of our own opinions when we let ourselves be led by laughter. We find ourselves laughingly agreeing with ideas that might be repugnant to us if we heard them presented in serious conversation. We dismiss our reaction by saying, "It was only a joke."

Benedict would say that what we laugh at tells something about who we are. It is better to stop laughing and start thinking if we find ourselves lining up with views that actually oppose our better judgment just because the speaker is funny.

Better to replace laughter with good humor, the kind that responds gently and respectfully to the experiences of others. The Benedictines do laugh together, but it is at the kinds of things that come from innocence, not from malicious intent. Benedict is in favor of the laughter that bubbles up in the presence of surprises and unexpected happy events. He encourages us to greet each other with smiles and the sounds of joy that come from our loving and encouraging hearts.

One can't help laughing delightedly at the sweet antics of children at play. We laugh with each other when something silly happens. We laugh for sheer joy when we are carefree and playing together. This is laughter that comes from good humor. It comes from a clean heart that doesn't despise one's fellow man.

Oh, to have a mind that is discerning and a heart full of good humor. Then we are less likely fall into laughing at the things of which we should be ashamed or by which we should be saddened. Then we will be able to lead the world toward goodness instead of following it into the darkness of thinly veiled hatred and prejudice.

Good humor is lighthearted and it brings light into the hearts of others.

Lost Tools of Learning

Please, please read the following article by Dorothy Sayers. It is for everyone who wants to learn--or teach others.

http://www.gbt.org/text/sayers.html

Doing what comes unnaturally...

Sometimes that best thing I can do is make a small, but simple decision NOT to do what comes naturally. A few months ago I decided not to eat sweets when I am by myself. It seemed like a silly thing to make a decision about, and it was really just an experiment in self control, but it has led to interesting results.

I have lost a few pounds, for instance, but I have also lost an annoying compulsion to treat myself with sugar when I am discouraged, tired or bored. I have had numerous meaningful conversations with myself about what I would do instead of eating a cookie or some chocolate and I have had to remember why I made this decision. I have eaten apples or nuts or nothing at all because I decided I didn't really need anything. Obviously, I have stumbled into a healthy habit. It is interesting to note that my regret over not having a treat has lasted only moments, but the satisfaction of practicing self control lasts for days.

Also, these small decisions have given me courage to make bigger decisions. I now know that if I say no to myself in a healthy way I can make it stick. I have learned that it's not so hard to make it through a day without a cookie. The next day it's easier and after a week or so, I hardly think about it at all. Once the decision is made, I just stick with it.

All of this has led to a reverse in my thinking process and I am starting to ADD a few things into my life that I think are worth doing. Just as I chose a few things I will never do, I am choosing a couple of things I hope I will always do. They also come unnaturally to me.

For instance, I plan to make sure that I read my Bible everyday, without excuses. I am a pretty avid Bible reader already, but I want to raise the quality of what I do. I will use my One Year Bible, but I hope I will also find other creative ways to think about the Bible. Maybe I will incorporate it into art projects or home decorating...maybe pictures of this will show up on my blog...don't hold your breath.

I also plan to learn how to pray without ceasing. Fortunately, the Bible (which I read daily!) says unceasing prayer is possible and I am picking up a lot of good hints from people who are way ahead of me on this, so I should be able to overcome my natural lack prayerfulness eventually. I don't expect 100% success in the first 10 years or so, but after that I should be pretty good at it. Meanwhile, I will have spent a lot of good time developing a useful prayer life. It's a good goal so I plan to allow myself plenty of time to succeed at it.

The trick is to be patient and not try to do too much at once. I know I am doing what comes unnaturally, so I am going to give myself grace. I think that there may be temporary discomfort in reminding myelf to do something unnatural that I said I would do, but the benefits will last for years. If I can't pray without ceasing every day, at least my commitment to try means that I will be praying more than I was. If I find it hard to read the One Year Bible everyday, at least my commitment to read the Bible everyday means I will probably read it more than I did before.

Just as I have been surprised by the results of my commitment not to eat sweets alone, I hope I will be surprised by the results of making a commitment to read the Bible and pray more everyday. Little changes can have a pretty cool result. I'll let you all know how it goes.

Ah, My Longsuffering Friends...# 8 Vespers has Arrived

My dear husband has been pointing out to me that I have neglected this blog. For all who have not abandoned me in this long interval, here is the story of Vespers, perhaps the sweetest of the Hours.

Vespers is the hour of gathering in and the lighting of the lamps. The work day has ended for most of the us and we have tied up the loose ends of what we were doing during the day. Now we turn for home as darkness descends and the lamps begin to glow. The evening meal is being prepared and we begin the transition to a peaceful close to the day.

In the monastery the monks may choose this time to walk in the garden on their way to prayer. I have sometimes gone out to my own back garden to light a lamp or candle when it is time for Vespers. Surrounded by my flowers, vegetables and trees, I watch the light fade from the sky and the stars come out and I have a sense that the creatures of the world are coming home to their nests and dens. My neighbors are gathering with their families all around me and my children are with their spouses in their homes. Soon we will have our evening meal, followed by a good night of rest.

Some days I may come to the Hour of Vespers with unresolved conflicts inside. I may have prayed in the Hour of None for forgiveness, and the ability to forgive others, but that may not have lifted the whole burden of concern from my shoulders. I may still be holding onto pieces of the day and trying to put them together in ways that make sense.

Vespers is the time to let go of all of that and place it into God's hands. He has made the night for sleep and He wants me to come to my place of rest with an untroubled heart. I do not have the strength, wisdom or power to resolve all of life's issues everyday, but God has promised to oversee all that concerns me and Vespers is the time to release those things to Him.


Since Vespers is the time of gathering in, it is also the Hour to enter into fellowship with those who share my home. Vespers prepares us to be hospitable to each other, to listen to each other's stories and help each other toward a peaceful close to the day. This is the time for loving greetings and genuine interest in each other.

T.S. Eliot points out that "In our rhythm of earthly life we tire of light. We are glad when the day ends, when the play ends...the day is long for work or play." (from his poem, Choruses from the Rock)

Vespers is the gentle transition from the glare of the day into the serenity of the evening. Breathe deeply the evening air and pause to watch the changing of the light in the world around you. Turn on the lamps, greet your loved ones and share together in a prayer of thanks for another day of Grace. Let God be God and trust Him to carry on for you while you prepare for rest.

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There is liturgy that goes with each of the Hours that I am mentioning in this blog. There are verses to read, songs to sing or chant and prayers to pray. The best way to learn about the Hours is to stay with a community that practices them, but many of us will never do that. I hope that will not discourage us from bringing these practices of prayer into our lives. My own experience is that it is hard to remember to observe all of the Hours through the day, but I find that I am more mindful of prayer simply because I am aware of the passing of these Hours.

It may be best to choose one or two of the Hours to practice in your day. If all you observe is Vespers, for instance, your day will still be enriched and your life with your family will be blessed. Lauds may become part of your daily Quiet Time or Sext may be part of your lunch time. Many Christian communities choose these three, Lauds, Sext and Vespers as their observance of the Hours of prayer.

We are nearing the end of our day of prayer. Next is Compline, the completing of the circle of Hours.

#7 None

Between 3:00 and 5:00 on many afternoons I tend to experience a sense of slowness, and vague feeling of discouragement or regret. The day feels both too long and too short in those moments. The clock ticks slowly as I deal with my more tedious tasks, but the hands are sure to fly if I take a look at the remaining items on my Do List.

This is the Hour of None. The word None refers to the nineth hour, or 3:00 p.m. If I were in a monastic community, it would be time to "put my affairs in order", organize my remaining work and face the fact that not everything I planned to do that day will be done.

Ironically this Hour of afternoon daylight and busyness is the one in which we are encouraged to remember that nothing lasts forever, including our lives. The sun has passed its zenith and the shadows are lengthening as we move toward evening. So it is in life. There comes a time when greater number of our years are behind us and the twilight of our life lies ahead. That is the proper time to "put our affairs in order", to think about how to bring life here to a peaceful close and accept the legacy we leave behind us.

Why pause to remember all of this in the middle of each day, especially while I am still relatively young and healthy? Why allow None to remind me of the thing I dread to name....death?

My life takes on more vibrant meaning when I look at it in the light of my mortality. If I remember the brevity of my life here I am much more likely to live it well. I am more likely to choose to do the things that will bring me real joy and that will have lasting value. It is good to be reminded that each day might be my last day. It helps me keep short accounts with my work and in my relationships with others.

How do we pray at None? First we find a way to be alone, if possible. The monastics suggest that we seek to be "alone with the Alone" for this time of prayer. Until now the day has had an outward movement and our prayers have been directed toward things outside of ourselves as we were concerned with the business of life. Now it is time to turn inward, take stock of ourselves and prepare to finish the day well with God's help. We lay out unfinished tasks and unmet expectations and ask for guidance from Him who has led us through the day until now.

None is also the Hour of forgiveness. It is time to forgive ourselves and others for things that did not go so well this day. We confess our own failures and sins of the day, but we also ask God for grace to forgive those who have offended us. If our hearts feel hurt or diappointment caused by others, at None we can dissolve it away with compassion and forgiveness. "We love because He first loved us". In this Hour of prayer we can truly offer love and forgiveness to others, knowing that the Lord has loved and forgiven us.

The moments we spend in prayer at None prepare us to finish the day strongly. We make peace with what must be left undone until tomorrow and go on to finish what we can today. Then we close our work stations, put away our tools and head for home. The next lovely Hour of prayer is Vespers, the lighting of the lamps.

The grace and forgiveness of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you.

#6 Sext

Let's talk about Sext. This Hour of prayer comes right in the middle of the day and is the time when we usually stop for the noon meal. Traditionally, it is also the time for a prayer for peace.

In medieval Europe, towns and villages grew up with monasteries and cathedrals at their centers. The monks, nuns and priests were educators. They were charitable, they practiced healing arts and, of course, they taught the villagers how to worship God. As these spiritual leaders went through their liturgical days, they rang the bells that called themselves and the villagers to prayer and to the celebration of Mass. People who were busy in their homes and shops or working in the fields would hear the bells and be reminded to think of God.

At noon, the bells called Angelus were rung. Angelus refers to angels and especially to the angel who announced to Mary that she would become the mother of Christ. Upon Mary's acceptance God's will for her, Heaven descended to earth and the earthly life of Jesus began. When He was born, angels appeared again with more wonderful announcements. One of them was that God was offering peace to earth and good will to men.

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Heaven come down to earth, carrying the offer of peace with God, and that's the promise of the Angelus bells.

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There is a famous painting of two peasants standing in a field with their heads bowed in prayer. Their meal is waiting at their feet while they pray and in the background we can see the church whose bells have called them from their work. The painting is called "The Angelus". The couple are praying for peace for themselves, their village and, perhaps, the world. It is a quiet image that makes me wonder what has become of the days when people made time for prayer during the day.

These days, stopping as a whole community to rest and eat a meal in the middle of the day is out of fashion. Lunch is just a necessity and it is often part of getting the job done. We eat at our desks, hold meetings while "doing lunch" or squeeze errands into that precious hour. We certainly don't encourage each other to think of angels or to pray for peace. Quite the opposite. Too often we are wrestling with the demons of our fast-paced day and struggling with keeping our anxieties under control.

Pausing to pray at Sext can help bring peace back into our experience. It reminds us that there is more to our lives than work and the material world. There are angels who have brought us messages from God. There is God Himself who offers peace to His world.

There is also, every day, the opportunity to sit down to a brief, but gracious meal. We can take whatever food we are eating and turn it into a celebration of thanks. We can breathe deeply and be grateful for the constant provision of God in our lives. We can take time to really taste the food and think of all the people who worked to grow it, to prepare it and to bring it to our table. Lunch can become an act of sharing life with others in our world and with the Lord. It can contribute to our peace and to our prayers for peace.

I recently read of a symbol of faith that is depicted as a wreath of thorns. In the middle, floating untouched by the thorns, is the word Pax which is latin for peace. Our days are sometimes like that wreath of thorns, but Sext can be the peace in the middle. Stopping to pray for peace, to give thanks to God and to be grateful for other people will help us experience peace and carry it with us into the rest of the day.

Selah.

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Next we will think together about None.

Telling Stories

In Tajikistan there is an ancient epic story that is told only by specially trained story tellers. Villagers hire these people to come and tell the story in the long winter evenings. They gather in homes where they can share warmth and food, and they listen, fascinated, as the epic unwinds. For a while they forget their hardships and the cold and are instead caught up in a world that existed long ago. This story reminds them of their heritage and of who they are as a people.

Someone has said that every time the Gospel is shared, it should begin with the phrase, "Let me tell you a story." That story might be the personal account of what the Gospel has meant to the storyteller, or it might be a story about someone in the Bible or maybe it's a story that Jesus Himself told. Jesus certainly knew and used the power of story telling.

You and I have countless stories to tell. Yesterday my friend Michele told a story to someone she met and it ended with that person taking the story book (Michele's old Bible) away with her. Now we are praying that she will open and read the book for herself.

In John 4, the woman Jesus met at the well persuaded a whole town to come and meet Him simply by telling her story. In the end they had their own personal stories to tell about their encounters with Jesus and they told her that her story had brought them to that point.

"They said to the woman,

'We no longer believe just because of what you said;

now we have heard for ourselves and

we know that this man really is

the Savior of the world.'"

John 4:42

The beauty of Jesus's stories is that He always drew from the moment and incorporated what was going on around Him to catch people's attention. He used nature and business and human relationships. Everyone of us can find a story to tell. Even if we aren't bringing the Gospel into it, it's great fun to tell each other stories. I think that is why Jesus did it...and I think that is why we might try it....just for fun.

#5 Terce

The Hour of Terce comes around a couple of hours after Prime. It is a pause in the work of the morning, and its purpose is to ask for the presence and power of the Holy Spirit. We pray that our work will be a blessing to others and to God.

Many of us have heard of the concept that we should look to see where God is at work and join Him in what He is already doing. Terce is the moment that we do that. We stop, look and listen to Him, to see if we are indeed being led by His Spirit in what we are doing. Jesus did this constantly.

Jesus said to them,"My Father is always at His work

to this very day, and I, too, am working."

Jesus gave them this answer: " I tell you the truth,

the Son can do nothing by Himself;

He can do only what He sees the Father doing,

because whatever the Father does

the Son also does".

John 5:17 & 19

Prime is usually when I am most focused and energetic. Once I get going on the day and I am feeling productive and successful I may not think of stopping to pray. I want to keep up my momentum and get as much done as possible. When Terce comes, it is a reminder to me that my work is not my own. My work is an offering to God and it is meant to be a blessing to others in my life. This pause to pray helps keep me from becoming self-serving and self-centered as I progress through the day.

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By the time Terce rolls around I may be encountering challenges in my relationships with people. I have been out of my cozy quiet time space for a while and may now be dealing with the irritation, disappointment or tension that comes from with working with others. Work itself may be creating negative emotions.

At Terce, I bring all of that to prayer and ask the Holy Spirit to give me wisdom. I need His perspective to cope with the challenges I am facing. It is also a great time to pray for the ways of escape from the temptations that are cropping up.

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I know this is tough advice, but one of the best ways to deal with difficult people is to pray for blessing in their lives. The temptation is to curse them, but the work of God is to bless them. It may be challenging to think of a blessing for a person who is provoking the heck out of me, but I can always find something--with the help of the Holy Spirit. It turns my own attitude around to pray for blessing in the life of that person and I feel better for it.

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One of the promises of God is that there is rest for His people. At Terce I lay my work (and my weapons) aside for a few minutes and return to the joy of His friendship. I love the fact that He is beside me--within me!--and is ready to restore the quietness and joy I had at Lauds.

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The Hours build upon each other throughout the day. As I leave Lauds, I look forward to Prime and then to Terce. These times of prayer are small oases in the journey through my tasks, relationships and responsibilities.

Terce: Stop, Look,

Pray for the Holy Spirit's help in my work &

Pray blessing into the lives of others, then

Go---back to work.

Next stop, Sext. May we all be refreshed in prayer today.

Temptations

Each day I start out toward a day of work and prayer, full of great intentions, and then discover that tempations lie in wait around every corner.

I have weaknesses and I fall into sin. There are temptation trip wires all around me. Maybe something provokes me to anger or frustration and I think evil thoughts or say evil things. Or I see something I want and decide to go for it, even though I had decided not to do that anymore. I excuse myself and promise to do better tomorrow.

That is where this picture of a cake comes in...this lovely, innocent cake (which is inscribed "A Gift of Love from Heaven Above") represents one of my temptations.

Years ago I made a decision that I would never pour myself a glass of wine when I am alone, nor would I ever drink to excess with others. I don't even think about doing these things, but eating sweets is a temptation to sin that I have struggled with. (It is only by God's grace that I haven't gotten to be 100 lbs. overweight by now since I have spent so much time alone in the kitchen over the years! )

Yesterday I was looking at a brownie on the kitchen counter while I was talking on the phone with a friend who struggles with overeating. I had planned to have that fat, chocolately brownie later with my afternoon tea. My friend, who is fighting and winning her battle with overweight, was asking for prayer in the face of ongoing temptations in her own kitchen.

Wow, I thought, I am packing around in my own body a lot of evidence that I have been giving in to food temptations for a long time. I thought about my past decisions about avoiding drinking....and then I decided that I had better apply that same discipline to goodies in my kitchen. I decided that I will not eat sweets when I am alone.

The earth did not shake when I made that decision, but a door to temptation closed for the day. It is so much easier to defeat temptation if the conversation is over before it begins. Will I have just one brownie today? Nope, no brownies while I am alone.

Maybe I will share one with a friend or my husband later. Of course, my friend or husband may decline the brownie and then I will be reminded that I don't need it either. The fact that I am facing temptation in the company of others can help me stop before I give in.

I am going to try using this response to other temptations that come my way. I don't think that I am supposed to be in running battles all day long with temptations. God has given me power to deal with them and move on:

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"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted,

he will provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."

I Corinthians 10:13

Jesus also encouraged us to pray

"Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil."

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Maybe the best way to escape from temptation is to pray for strength, then turn and walk away from it. No temptation is stronger than the power and deliverance of God that is ours through prayer.

Pray ---turn---pray---walk away---

I will call a friend to pray with me if I need extra strength.

#4 Prime

In Benedictine communities, Prime, is when work assignments are passed out and tools are collected for use. This is the time of commitment to the tasks that lie ahead for the day. They pray together for the energy and ability to do their work well. They want to serve with all their hearts, as doing their work for the Lord. They also remember their connection to each other in this Hour.

Monks often work alone, but they never forget their community while they work. All day long they will be coming across the evidence of the work of others in the community--their work intertwines with that of others. They give thanks for that and they remember to pray for their fellow monks when they see the products of their labors.

Prime is an important Hour of prayer for me. I am not naturally an organized person and I have to work hard at planning and implementing my task lists. As much as I would love to carry lists around in my head all day long and work methodically at accomplishing tasks, my mind is a wonderland of ideas and inspirations and I am very easily distracted. I have to set aside time to look at what must be done and then write it down in order to do it.

In "Music of Silence" the authors suggest that we head into the work day with a plan to

Stop

Look

& Go

They liken this to a conductor about to lead an orchestra into a great symphony. He raises the baton and there is a silent pause:

Stop

He and the orchestra consider the music before them:

Look

He brings the baton down and they play the first notes:

Go!

This is a method by which I can I stay on track in my work all day long. My first "stop" is Prime. I "look" prayerfully at the work I must do and then I prayerfully "go" into the day. As I work, I try to remember to "stop, look and go" again and again. This helps me stay on track.

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Praying Prime also helps me view my work as a sacred act, an offering of my skills and abilities to the Lord all day long. He is very present as I do whatever I have to do that day and I want to please Him.

"Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight.

Everything is uncovered and laid bare

before the eyes of him to whom

we must give an account." Hebrews 4:13

With the Lord as my Ultimate Supervisor, I am eager to do the right things. Prime helps me start out connected and communicating with Him.

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There are two other thoughts I want to add:

1. Remembering that my work is intertwined with that of others all day long helps me have more respect for them. All of us enter into a world of work already completed by others as soon as we get up in the morning. What we eat is brought to us by others doing their jobs, the safety we enjoyed through the night and even the gas we put into our vehicles are there because someone did his or her job. There are countless ways in which our lives are blessed by others who do their work well. We can be thankful for these people and we can pray for them.

2. Stopping work briefly when it is time to pray again is a good reminder that my work is subject to God and not to become an idol in my life. Work is not the basis of my identity. My identity is in my relationship with the Lord and stopping to acknowledge Him in prayer keeps me focused on that.

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Next, I will share with you about Terce.

Prayer Lists

A few days ago I mentioned that I don't use prayer lists in my quiet time, but that doesn't mean I don't think they are a good idea. I know people who keep prayer lists for years and they are able to look at them and see how God has answered. These are a great encouragement and a wonderful record of what God has done.

If you are a list keeper, please enjoy that experience! My prayers are recorded pretty extensively in my daily journal writings and I often review them to remember what the Lord has done for me and the people I pray for.

God Himself has kept lists to remember people by--just look in Chronicles! God doesn't actually need a list to remember people, but the fact that He put them into His everlasting Word tells us something.

A prayer list might be one of the best ways to make sure you keep your commitments to pray.

Time Out to Meet an Angel

Thursday morning Women Ministries at our church thanked me for my service as an elder the past three years by presenting me with this lovely carved angel. I love how her face is perpetually turned toward Heaven. She is a quiet reminder of the attitude of prayer throughout the day. Blessings!

#3 Lauds

Lauds comes at the dawning of the new day. I have my morning quiet time beside a window that faces east in our living room, so I often see the light of the dawn as it stretches across the sky. (Yes, I am naturally a morning person).

Many times I feel I am joining a "dawn chorus" of other believers who have already had their quiet times when I get up to meet the Lord. Here on the western edge of the west coast, we see the rising sun after it has traveled over the rest of the country. There are not a whole lot of other people still waiting for sunrise after we see it here in California. There are the Pacific islands, then the International Dateline and the globe spins slowly into another new day, but, I digress....

I pray at dawn because I am grateful for being delivered by God safely out of the night into the light of a new day. The mood of Lauds is one of gratitude and joy. I may have wrestled with my thoughts and struggled with my fears during Vigils, but now all things begin anew. God heard my prayers in the dark of night and now He is present when I wake.

Lauds is the time to let my optimism rise, to believe that God has many new opportunities waiting for me. This is the time to feed my soul on scripture. It is the time I lay out the plans for the day and ask for His guidance and help. I take time to ask Him whether all my busyness is really good and necessary and perhaps to consider paring down some of the demands upon my time that are not really being fruitful.

I often pray for people in this early morning hour. I don't keep a list for this purpose, but I pray as people come to mind. I know that I will be praying for people all day long anyway, and I trust the Lord to remind me about them as needed, so I don't try to cover everyone first thing in the morning.

I also pray using the thoughts and words I read in my Bible that morning. I believe that the Lord wants to speak to me from His Word and I want to respond according to what He is saying. After all, it is only polite to go with the conversation He initiates.

By the way, it's good to have a Bible reading plan in mind at Lauds. It may be as simple as reading through the Bible one book at a time, or it may be part of a Bible study you are currently doing, but have something ready. It slows things down to be fumbling around with your Bible so early in the day.

I used to think that my quiet times needed to be my spiritual meal for the day, but now I know that I will soon be "eating" again when the next Hour for prayer rolls around. Lauds helps me get ready to receive the gift of the coming day. I relax in the Lord's presence and look forward to what we will be doing together. I know that He will lead me since His call to "Follow Me" is for all of His disciples...and that includes me!

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Lauds...light, gratitude, joy and optimism!

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Next we will look at Prime. Have a great day!

#2 Vigils

First, let me say that I have no set times at which I practice the Hours of prayer. I do not watch the clock and I have no community calling me to stop what I am doing and pray during the day. I intend to pray each of the Hours each day, but if I miss one I don't let it upset me. There are often good reasons for the distractions that keep me from a praticular Hour of prayer.

On the other hand, because of my intention to pray, I find myself praying in all kinds of places and circumstances. There are many interesting places to pray. This morning I prayed Lauds in the car on my way to our Elders meeting at church. I prayed Prime on my knees in the empty sanctuary of our church after our Elder breakfast. Later in the morning I prayed Terce with a friend who is recovering from surgery. After lunch I prayed Sext with my daughter-in-law who came over to do laundry at our house. Soon, I want to pray None, so I will soon slip out to the garden and pray again. When my husband comes home I will offer to pray Vespers with him and, later, I will close the day with Compline.

I will write more about each of these hours in the days to come, but today I want to write about Vigils.

Vigils is the night watch, the Hour that comes before the dawn. In the Benedictine monasteries, the monks rise from bed and gather in the chapel for prayer together in this Hour. The liturgy that they chant is hauntingly beautiful (see the film "Into Great Silence"). They stand with small lamps creating pools of light around them and the chant rises and falls, echoing against the walls. When they are finished, they return to their beds.

People don't often think of Vigils when they think of prayer, yet how many of us wake suddenly in the middle of the night, gripped with anxiety or troubled by our thoughts? The darkness around us feels heavy and we long for the relief of returning to sleep. We deal with restless, persistent thoughts that make us tense and nervous in our beds. We can't decide whether to get up or stay in bed, watching the clock tick away the minutes.

In the night we are spiritually naked. There is nothing to distract us from our fears, our guilt, our memories of what has happened in our day and our dread of what might be. All that we push away from our consciousness in the day returns to us in the night. We need prayer more in that hour, perhaps, than in any other.

When I was a little girl I was a restless sleeper who often woke in the middle of the night. I would sometimes go and stand silently by my father's bedside until he became aware that I was there. Without waking my mother he would get out of bed and take me quietly to the kitchen where he patiently listened to my fears and worries. Then he would open his Bible, or talk and pray with me until I was settled and quiet. His loving attention to my concerns brought me peace and I would go back to bed ready to sleep.

The Hour of Vigils is much like this. No matter what wakes us in the night, the Heavenly Father is already present, watching over us. He knows what troubles us and He sees the fear that grips our hearts. King David wrote:

"How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!

How vast is the sum of them!

Were I to count them,

they would outnumber the grains of the sand.

When I awake I am still with you."

Psalm 139:17-18

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Prayer in the night is the cry of a child who wants comfort. It is the restless soul that wants to be unburdened, to be reassured and given peace. God hovers over such souls in the night, ready to listen, ready to speak and ready to ease us back to our rest.

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How do we pray Vigils? With honesty, trust in our Father and by claiming the promises of God.

When I rise to pray Vigils, I bring all that is in me in that hour and lay it before God. Then I wait and see what He says. Something I wrote in my notebook for Vigils may guide me or a song may come to mind and speak to my heart. My Bible is always at hand and I look up familiar passages as the Lord reminds me of them.

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Sometimes I will remain in prayer for quite a while, interceding, confessing or petitioning the Lord about my concerns. Most often I find quietness and return to bed pretty quickly, partly because I have already been dealing with my concerns in prayer throughout the previous day. Vigils isn't only about my restlessness, sometimes the Lord invites me to come and pray for a little while just because He is the Lord.

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I don't practice Vigils every night. Many nights I sleep peacefully all night long and wake when it is time for Lauds. I admire the discipline of the communities who rise as a body to observe Vigils each night, but I am a simple Protestant believer. Sometimes I sleep through Vigils and I am grateful for the sleep!

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I will write what I am learning about Lauds next time. Peace, my friends.

#1 The Hours

I am trying to think of a way to describe the latest development in my spiritual journey. It involves the hours of the day and the marking of them with prayer. Writing about it in a blog is risky because I know that most of my readers are probably in a hurry and may not read the whole story...but here goes.

Some time ago I acquired a book called "Music of Silence". It is a tiny volume that simply describes the monastic hours of prayer observed through the days and nights in Benedictine Christian communities. I have had this book for a few years and have marked and made notes on its pages. I started a series of small spiral-bound notebooks in which I write personal notes, scriptures, poetry and lyrics that pertain to each hour of prayer. From time to time I have observed the hours of prayer for a day. I loved it, but it never clicked into a pattern of daily observances for me.

When we went to Sea Ranch this month I took all of my notebooks with me and decided to practice the Hours each day. I took time to meditate upon the meaning of each Hour and add verses and thoughts to my notebooks. As the time went by prayer began to dominate my thinking and I found myself eagerly looking forward to each Hour of prayer.

There is a rhythm in the Hours that flows gracefully through the day, like a river of silence and stillness in the background of my life. Instead of an interruption to my activities, I saw the Hours as essential to my pursuits.

I was intentional in observing the Hours, but my observances were not lengthy. Much of the time I entered the time by thoughtfully reciting the Lord's prayer. Then I used my notebooks to guide me into the purpose of each Hour. I read scriptures that came to mind or I listened to a song on my Ipod. Sometimes I just stood and looked out at the sea and sky and yielded my thoughts to the Lord.

The Hours are: Vigils, Lauds, Prime, Terce, Sext, None, Vespers and Compline.

Now that I am home I am continuing to observe them. Since I am not part of a community that observes the Hours, I practice them in whatever ways they come to me . I find that each Hour fits beautifully into whatever is happening when it arrives. For me it has become a way to continually seek the Lord and enjoy His presence in my life.

I plan to blog about each of the Hours and my experiences of them in the coming days. Perhaps the practice of the Hours will become a blessing to my friends.

I need Thee every hour, most gracious Lord;

No tender voice like Thine can peace afford.

I need Thee every hour, stay Thou nearby;

Temptations lose their power when Thou art nigh.

I need Thee every hour, in joy or pain;

Come quickly and abide or life is vain.

I need Thee every hour, most Holy One;

O make me Thine in deed, Thou blessed Son!

I need Thee, O I need Thee,

Every hour I need Thee!

O bless me now, my Saviour--I come to Thee.

(This hymn was written by a mother of many children as she cared for them at home.)

Sound Prints

This week sound historians released a recording from 1860 of a french woman singing "Au Claire do la Lune". This primitive recording was etched on soot-covered paper by a stylus. The stylus was propelled by a rubber diaphragm that that vibrated as the singer sang. Scientists were able to digitize the image of these etchings and convert them to sound, wobbly and faint, but identifiable as a song. One of the historians mentioned that this recording literally came out of smoke to be heard nearly 150 years after it was spoken.

Sound travels in waves. Our own ears have diaphragms, or drums, that let us hear music or words. The sounds we hear leave an imprint upon our brains. Often our whole bodies react to the impact of sound and it leaves a memory of fear or joy within our nervous system. Sounds leave their prints on us.

I wonder how much of the past has been etched by sound into the world we inhabit. Do ancient, sooty caves in France have sound prints as well as primitive paintings on their walls? Do cliffs and rocks and city walls record the conversations that have taken place in front of them through the ages? Are forgotten words recorded in the molecules that vibrated under their impact?

We have only recently discovered how to follow DNA trails through our environment to see who came before us and what they did. We can trace how far we ourselves have migrated from our ancestral homes through analysis of a few cells from the inside our mouths.

Scientists are discovering more and more accurately what has gone on in our world by reading more and more definitively all that is embedded in the soil, the tissues and minerals that make up the substance of the earth. There is the DNA trail to follow, but there are also paths left by fires, floods, earthquakes, landslides, mud flows and deep ice. Records are found everywhere they look. The universe is book written by God.

Perhaps all that has ever been, still is. All that went before us, that we consider lost in the mists of time, may still surround us. God has said that everything hidden will be revealed, that every careless word will be accounted for, that He sees every every sparrow that has ever fallen. There is a record over time that He sees and hears.

I have thought that only God was the great repository of all that can be remembered. It didn't occur to me until today that in actuality, He has built memory into every part of creation. Some of the memory we have discovered already, much is yet to be discovered.

All of this to say that what we say and do is important. None of it goes missing or gets lost in the atmosphere. No deed or word fails to have an impact. We are print-making upon our world every moment that we live and even after we are gone, the impact continues.

The Bible says that we are like smoke that rises and is gone. Nevertheless, smoke speaks.

Roof off, walls down

I have a little booklet called "Continuous Revival" by Norman Grubb and today I read in it about the concept of "roof off, walls down." It is about spiritual brokenness and it got me thinking about some things.

When we are uneasy and want to make our hearts right with God, here is what has to happen first: the roof has to come off of our lives. We uncover our hearts let God see right into the middle of us and address what is there. He gets to hear about sin as we confess it, but He also gets to go as deep as He needs to to uncover whatever else is there--things that we may not even want to admit.


When we confess our sins, the barrier (or roof) between us and God is removed and we are forgiven because God has promised to forgive us as soon as we confess. Then God is given freedom to rummage around the "house" of our souls to see what else is there. Perhaps more sin is revealed and confessed and new life flows into our souls. As long the roof stays off, we interact with God openly. In this way we experience personal revival and are renewed day by day.

The next step is to bring down the walls that hide us from other people. It is truly difficult to tell others about our deliverance from sin, yet this is a powerful proof of our freedom and renewal. To stand before others and admit that once we were sinners and now we are cleansed reinforces our personal revival and brings hope to others.

Taking down the walls does not mean a graphic revelation of all that we have done wrong. Instead, it is a testimony of how God has delivered us from our old ways. I can tell others frankly that I have struggled with crazy jealousy toward a sister, and tell how the Lord delivered me from that sin, without going into the details of how corrupt I was in my thoughts and behavior before that deliverance. The emphasis is not on my sin, but on God's deliverance.

I want others to be glad with me that we have such a wonderful Savior and Deliverer. I want them to know that deliverance and peace are possible no matter what the sin is.

Brokenness does not refer to a crushed soul, but to the breaking down of the roof and walls that separate me from the Lord and from other people. Once these barriers are down my soul can soar up and out, expanding to be all that the Lord designed it to be. I can go freely wherever he wants me to go and do all that he has in mind for me to do.

Blessed is he whose sins are forgiven,

whose sins are covered.

Blessed is the person whose sin

the Lord does not count against him

and in whose spirit is no deceit.

When I kept silent, my bones wasted away...

day and night your hand was heavy upon me...

Then I acknowledged my sin before you

and did not cover up my iniquity.

I said,"I will confess my sins to the Lord"--

and you forgave the guilt of my sin.

Many are the woes of the wicked,

but the Lord's unfailing love surrounds

the man who trusts in him.

Therefore, let everyone who is godly pray to you

while you may be found...

--Excerpts from Psalm 32--